Letters to Loved Ones

© The Sanniah Experience! (TSE)

By Sanniah Hassan

I often think of what we would say to our loved ones if we could send them letters after their passing. So I decided to write a series of letters to those loved ones. This being the first, from a young daughter to her father as a way t thank him for his efforts in his life and after.

Dear Father,

Today I can proudly tell you that I have grown up into a kind-hearted, almost-independent young woman. I say almost because although I have come a long way I still have many obstacles to cross. I'm no longer that little girl you cherished and loved, who you constantly cocooned in your embrace to protect me from the evil eyes of people and society, to cherish me tenderly and make me believe that I am on top of the world because I have you by my side.

No matter what the world throws at me, I know that I can pull through because I am your daughter. Although I am your princess, I can also be a warrior. Do you remember how I used to love writing and making up stories? I still do that. Now my dream is to write about you. I want to make up stories involving you and the thousand moments we spent together before you had to leave so suddenly.

Do you remember my over-active imagination? I still have that. You know, when you left back then, I felt nothing at the beginning. Then when it eventually started to dawn on me, the fact, that you would never return I deluded myself into believing you had taken a prolonged vacation, that you would be back because surely you have nowhere else to go but, then, as time passed me by and there were no signs of your return, I thought to myself that you may have gone looking for a new family. I thought perhaps you had grown tired of us and had wanted a new wife and a better set of children. Since all this was not possible in our world I believed you had traveled to an alternate universe in search of what you could never have with us.

That was back when I was still little and naive in the true sense of the word. As weeks turned to months and months to years, I accepted the bitter truth that your time on Earth though short, was nothing but an amazing prelude to a rude awakening. Finally, I reached the conclusion that although you had had to leave, you had not done so by choice and there was definitely no search for a better family in a parallel universe. As I realized this to be my truth, simultaneously I attempted to survive in the deep blue of life. As a young girl trying to maneuver my way through the murky depths of puberty while being very aware of the hungry sinful eyes of the predators around me.

Whenever someone looked at me as if I were a juicy piece of meat, I remembered you and the world of innocence I had lost access to. There were times when I was angry at you for leaving me to fight my way through such filth but, then there came moments of clarity that made me feel at peace that if it were not for your absence I would not have tried to summon the courage you had always wanted me to hone. Lastly, came the realization that this world was dog-eat-dog and every man for themselves so, I decided that I would conquer all my demons and be the daughter you truly deserve. This made me work harder than ever before. I focused on my studies but, I also focused on my writing. Because at the end of the day, whenever I wrote, the pain of losing you would slowly subside it will be there as if not at all.

With Love,
Your Daughter.

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