With or Without Me

By Sanniah Hassan

With or without me,

You should be happy, that’s

What my parents always taught me.

I recalled their words as I tried to

Hold my tears at bay.

Today I would leave it all behind.

As I stepped into another life,

A new family

I would leave behind my past,

My web, my nest.

I would be leaving behind the people I loved the most

To start something new,

Another family.

I was wearing my heart on my sleeve,

Though reluctantly,

I was moving on.

My heart felt like it would explode any minute,

It was as if a thousand butterflies were fluttering within me,

What could I call this feeling of the in-between?

Being good at playing with words was of no use at all today.

What can a girl do as she leaves her memories behind?

What does she do, when faced with this unwelcomed change?

I tried to express myself,

But I found it futile.

From this moment on, I would not be me, but we.

I was moving away from the loving embrace of my mother,

My siblings

And stepping foot into the murky seas

Of the future.

I was going to have to depend on someone,

Not my mother.

“It’s time you let go, baby”

Mother said to me.

How can one moment change everything so entirely?

“Yes mother, but how? I inquired.

“How can I leave what I know behind?”

She smiled and reached her hand out to caress my cheek,

I felt myself seek comfort within that touch I knew so well.

“The answers will come to you.”

I looked puzzled, but I believed her with every fiber of my being.

Someone pulled at me and I turned to a smiling face.

His eyes were kind, he gave me his hand

Waiting for me to accept.

I looked to mother who nodded.

I accepted the hand given to me,

Stepping away from my old life

I moved into a new world.

“Mother is right you know”, he whispered leaning in.

I searched his eyes for any indication of a lie,

When I found none, I sighed

And got into the car.

Turning in the direction of the only family

I knew till then,

I let out a watery smile, trying my best

At staying strong,

Mother waved as her eyes reflected mine, filled to the brim

Tears threatening to break free.

“I love you” she mouthed.

“With or without you” I replied.

She let out a shaky laugh

As she hugged me one last time,

“I’ll try my best to be happy.”

“I know you will be” came her muffled reply as the car sped off

Into the promise of a bright future.

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Video Link for the poem "With or Without Me":

Comments

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